(This post contains affiliate links.)
Hey, hey! So… I’m in the process of editing this post. As I’ve researched and grown, my thinking about health and size and weight and diet culture has shifted. It might be a little bit until I’ve edited all of my health posts (moving and 3 kids and all that), but if you’re interested in what I’ve been learning, check out the Food Psych podcast or this book on intuitive eating (affiliate link).
I stood bare in front of the bathroom mirror. Instead of averting my eyes and getting out of there as quick as possible, I appraised.
And I spoke truth over my body.
You are beautiful in His eyes.
He made you, fearfully and wonderfully.
You are His beloved.
And then I filled my lungs with air and, finally with eyes peering at His handiwork, admitted my truth to Him.
I have an addiction, Lord. I’m a food addict. I’ve put food in a place that only you should be. All of this extra on my body is a physical manifestation of my sin.
Every single bit of my body that I despise is there because I didn’t turn to you when my anxiety got out of control, when the depression seeped in, or when I was finally so happy, I wanted to celebrate.
You would have welcomed my fears, my pain, and, of course, my joy, and You would have given me peace.
But I chose a quick-fix outlet that has done nothing but separate myself from you.
So I stand before you, now, humbly asking you to show me the way.
I know you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life. And I want to be done with my backward way, my false truth, and unsurrendered life.
So here I am, Lord.
Getting to this place has not been easy, friends. I had to admit to myself that I had a problem, that not taking care of my body was a sin, and that sin was separating me from God.
My pride was keeping me from acknowledging that I had a problem in the first place.
My shame was separating me from seeking God for help.
And, ultimately, I started to believe all kinds of lies. You were made this way. It’s just food. It’s not like you are hurting anyone else.
- We were made to crave: God.
- And yes, it’s just food, but we are misusing it.
- We are hurting people—ourselves and our families.
So now I’ve acknowledged and repented of how I have let my food addiction separate me from God.
But now what?
Food addiction is an interesting beast. It’s not like drugs or alcohol, where once you decide to get help the goal is to never use, again.
We can’t give up food. We have to replace our broken habit with whole ones.
So I’ve decided to seek outside help, and if you are in this place, too, I encourage you to, as well.
I’m not talking about another diet or health craze, but someone to help us work through the heart of the matter.
Our sin isn’t that we are overweight. Sin lies in our hearts. The extra pounds are just proof of a heart that hasn’t been relying on God.
For so long I have looked in the mirror and only have seen failure and worthlessness, but God is slowly, yet deeply rewriting my heart.
I am a work in progress.
And so are you.
Go love well, friends! (And that includes loving your body well, too!)
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