I choose to feel Cherished. . .every day.
Some days an overwhelming dark cloud comes over me whispering “you’re not good enough” but I have learned to not look at the situations around me nor to trust my feelings but remind myself I am cherished because God says I am.
Now this feeling of “not good enough” didn’t stem from a family that didn’t love me…because I was greatly loved.
It wasn’t because I had no friends…I had and still do have super cool and encouraging friends in my life.
I did have one huge failure of a marriage that I would love to say was the reason. However, I still cannot blame that for my “not good enough” record playing in my head. Frankly, it was there beforehand and I was always trying to suppress and hide it.
I suppressed it, pushed through it and hid it pretty well.
In high school, I was a cheerleader, in a dance club and dated one of the starting basketball players. My question always –”Now am I good enough?”
Several years after high school I eventually–pretty boldly I may add—applied for a graduate level paralegal program at Roosevelt University in Chicago. . . And got in with a waiver thanks to special letters from the attorneys that I had worked for stating I could handle the course of study despite the fact I didn’t have a bachelor’s degree. “Maybe now I’m good enough?”
I received my certificate with honors, married the basketball player from high school and bought a house. Yes! Life is good! I was good!
For a season, I felt proud of my accomplishments. . .maybe now I can let go of my insecurities of not being good enough? I am good enough. . .yes!
Then my life crashed down around me. My basketball player decided he liked his girlfriend better—so maybe not good enough after all. The turmoil of the divorce made it so I couldn’t focus on my paralegal job—let’s quit before we get fired. The house that was once a sanctuary was now a reminder of everything that had gone wrong and filled with a flood of guilt of some bad choices that I had made trying to please my husband.
The voices were loud and I ran away plain and simple. I ran out of state far away from the turmoil of failure—a place where no one knew me and what a failure I was.
But God used all that turmoil to pull me to Him. I remarried and gave my life over to God. It is like He pulled me up, dusted me off, gave me a hug and whispered. . .“Now that I have you, let’s do this together.”
This time, there was something else in my new marriage – God. We both have grown closer to God. . . together. It has been a 21-year journey that includes two wonderful children but that is not why I feel cherished.
I have learned over these last 20 years that it is not the stuff I do or the things I have or the way people treat me that makes me good enough. Stuff and things and people don’t make me feel cherished.
I am cherished simply because I am a daughter of Christ – I’m cherished because he cherishes me. There is a confidence that cannot be found any other way then knowing your Heavenly Father lovingly hugs you and whispers “You are beyond good enough.”
Beautiful daughter of God, live life cherished. . .every day!
Sheryl Siler is a devoted wife, homeschooling mom of two as well as an author and speaker. She has a passion for learning, enjoys teaching and inspires others with her heart of service. Sheryl is the founder & editor-in-chief of Cherished Magazine and creator of GrowBloomInspire.com. A place she encourages women to grow out of the negative thinking, bloom into a confident women and inspire to love themselves and to pay it forward by encouraging others.
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